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unmerged(96639)

bezrodniy kosmopolit
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Apr 10, 2008
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"By this plan we shall direct all mankind. In this manner, and by the simplest means, we shall set all in motion and in flames. The occupations must be so allotted and contrived, that we may, in secret, influence all political transactions. I have considered every thing, and so prepared it, that if the Order should this day go to ruin, I shall in a year re-establish it more brilliant than ever."

- Adam Weishaupt​

In 1790, a general uprising against the dominance of the Catholic Jagiellons and the South German dynasties backing them errupted in the Northern German states. Inspired by the writings of the Anglo-French "philosophes des Lumiéres", as well as by the German philosophers and intellectuals, the rebels rose in opposition to the decaying institutions of the Holy Roman Empire. Many aristocrats sympathised with the rebels, and even took part in the uprisings themselves. Others, loyal to the Bohemian Emperor, were executed or forced to flee as their estates were expropriated. Within a few years, the rebels took control of a good third of the Empire's territory, jolting the sleepy feudal Reich into action. The rebellion had failed after the Imperial Army's triumph at Leipzig, and the reforms undertaken by Vaclav VIII afterwards were the proximate cause for the Great German War, which was to last for years, causing further chaos in the long-suffering German lands.

Conservative thinkers, among them the Scot John Robison, laid the blame for the uprising on an obscure Bavarian professor, one Adam Weishaupt, and his secret society, which had been outlawed by order of the Duke of Bavaria in 1784. After the ban, Weishaupt fled to Gotha, where he spent his days in anonymity, writing vindications and improvements of his system. He played a minor role in the abortive Revolution, and was pardoned after his arrest at the insistence of his erstwhile patron, the Duke of Gotha, who was rumoured to have been a supporter of the revolutionaries himself.

The combined effects of the Revolution's failure and the depredations of the Great German War (which culminated in the abolition of the Holy Roman Empire in 1820) seemingly extirpated the nationalist and liberal opposition. The crowned heads of Bohemia and Burgundy now jostled for influence over the German states, unburdened by the prospect of another pan-German uprising. Many of the leading lights of the German unification movement - names like Fichte, Herder, and Goethe - fled to exile or were censored, and many others perished at the barricades or on the gallows. Weishaupt, for his part, died in 1830, his grand designs for a secret order of enlightened men that would usher in a new era of Reason and Progress seemingly an utter failure...

Or maybe... maybe that is what they want us to think?

***​

Hello all. :) Inspired by the recently announced AAR contest, I've decided to finally try my hand at a Vicky 2 AAR. Originally, I had thought about porting my relatively successful "PeAARl of the Antilles" AAR to V2, but I'm going to put that project on hold until I learn how to code events and the VIP2 Team comes out with a workable release. To try something a little different from the vanilla setup, I've opted for the excellent yet underappreciated Divergences mod, which makes things rather more interesting at start, and has the added bonus of letting you go hog wild with filling the gaps in the canon history.

The AAR will be largely documentary/epistolary, focusing on the correspondence and nefarious plotting of the Bavarian Illuminati, who in this timeline are alive and well, furthering their grand scheme of destroying the Bohemian-Burgundian duopoly over the German lands. The ultimate goal, of course, is to rule the world, or at least a substantial portion of it, by the end of the game. Heute Deutschland, morgen die ganze Welt! In the process, there will be plots, complots, counterplots, glaring plot holes, intrigues, assassinations, splits, espionage, warfare, a dash of the occult, ups, downs, lefts and rights... :p

I cannot at all guarantee that the combined effects of work-and-college-related obligations will not grind this to a premature halt, but I think I'll manage at least a brief update every week. My expectations for the AAR are modest, and its main use is as a side project until I get the time and skills necessary to redo my Haitian AAR. Nevertheless, I hope at least two or three people find it interesting, and who knows, maybe I'll get some blue coins out of it.

 
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Alcibiades to Crito, December 28th 1835

Caro Frater,

It is always heartening to see a well-laid plan come to fruition. Our efforts during the past few years have not been in vain, if the news from Athens are to be believed. Glaucon still pulls some strings in the Reichsrat, and has successfully called in on some of his old friends - better said, debtors! - to facilitate the appointment of some of the Order's candidates. According to the whisperings around Court, I am reputedly one of the King's candidates for the head of the Cabinet, along with Aristarchus and Apollodorus. Whichever one of us is ultimately selected, the end result will be as favourable. I do not presume upon our friendship, of course, and will not ask you to do any manouvering in my name, although vanity and pride would have me do otherwise! To conquer one's vices and assume dominion over one's nature - that is the chief work of the Order's members, is it not? I struggle at times to keep my ambitions in check, but what an improvement has been made since the days of my impetuous youth! Indeed, one must not lose sight of the ultimate objective, however distant and unobtainable it may seem to us in these swinish times. It will one day no longer be necessary to rule or to be ruled, but in the present situation better to reign in Hell than serve in Heav'n. Which reminds me, has Critias yet managed to return my copy of the Areopagitica to you?

Ah, but let us not waste our time with personal trifles, old friend. On the matter of the War Ministry, I have already contacted some of our men in the Army, and they assure me that at least one of the generals due to be given command will be our brothers. Spartacus' son, it seems, is a lost cause. The fellow is bright, and certainly talented in his field, but our efforts to draw him in seem to have been in vain. All the better, I say. As if there was some magic in Spartacus' seed that should make a man uniquely suited to our Order! We must not adopt the superstitious absurdities of the monarchies of the world, even if we do make good use of them! Marius has promised he would see to it that our man gets command of the 1st Korps, the larger one.

How easy has all this proven to be! And to think of Glaucon and Cicero's skepticism towards the whole scheme a few years ago: I trust this has vindicated my contention that we should seek to plant ourselves within the very heart of the worst reactionary powers, the most Jesuitical Catholics and the most sycophantic Bohemophiles, and from this position work to effect an utter collapse of the system, meticulously and systematically. Yet some fear another 1784 - let it come, if it must! The Order is by now an indestructible creature, and it will rise again as surely as it did the last time around, even stronger. We cannot satisfy ourselves with Masonic fripperies and empty chatter in reading societies, as some of the more diffident brethren would have us do. The circumstances impel us to dirty our hands. We must tactically throw our energies behind tendencies in spirit contrary to the aims of the Order, and those who do not understand the necessity of doing so are simply not thinking properly, that is to say, dialectically!

I trust your business goes well? Your suggestions regarding the development of industry in Graecia - a crucial affair, if we are to lift its populace from its present miserable condition - have been noted. Glaucon appreciates your sense of organisation, but the expenses associated are prohibitive at this juncture. Even if they weren't, we would still have to convince those dunderheads in the Ministry of the plan's value, and it would surely take us at least a decade to educate a cadre fit to manage a modern industrial enterprise, not to mention that we would have to come up with a plan to uproot the Bavarian peasant, that torporous and narrow-minded creature, from his cherished farm and put him to use on the machines. Still, I have the utmost faith in our ability to put your ideas into practice, by hook or by crook, when the time comes.

Alcibiades VIII°

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Graf Wilhelm Xavier von Straubing-Bogen (1780 - 1856), Chancellor of Bavaria (1836 - 1851)
 
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I'm sure that the Illuminanti will easily conquer the world, if they can get past Bohemia and Burgundy! The hard part of a German minor in Divergences is definitely not getting curbstomped when you form Germany from the Second Council.
 
Thank you for taking part in the Writing with the StAARs contest. I look forward to following this AAR, especially since it has one of the most promising mods for Victoria 2 being played!
 
This look like it could be very interesting.
 
Thanks to all who have replied. I must say I'm slightly worried by the replies to views ratio, even though after some calculations I've come to the conclusion it's about the same as that of several highly popular AARs. Comments are highly encouraged, of course - they go a long way towards suppressing my normally crippling self-doubt.

Speaking of which, I fear I may have made the AAR a bit too Teutonically abstruse for people's tastes, and I'd quite like some commentary from any and all readers. The idea for this was to feed the readAARs a few snippets of info, veiled in a dense fog of Illuminati codespeak, and have them (the readAARs) have lots of fun decoding just who's talking to whom, who's who in the Order's hierarchy, where's Eleusis and what the Hell is going on. However, I fear my definition of "fun" may be a little idiosyncratic in this case. :D If enough people loudly complain, I'll add clarificatory footnotes to the posts instead of dropping little hints here and there. One must always listen to the audience.

Anyways, first proper update coming up. I'll be doing them on a yearly basis from now on, giving a brief overview of the most relevant goings-on in the game world as well as the plans and machinations of the chaps from the title.
 
1836: The Salzburg Affair

Note from the Chancellor to His Majesty, King Ludwig I, January 1st 1836

I accept, in the spirit of utmost humility and gratitude, the weighty responsibility that Your Majesty has sought fit to bestow upon me, and solemnly pledge to continue my service to the Crown to the best of my abilities. To this end, I have prepared a list of suggested Cabinet appointments for Your Majesty's consideration and appraisal. The gentlemen in question have been among my closest and most valued associates for a number of years, and I feel confident enough to personally vouch for their competence and honourable conduct.

For the Ministry of Foreign Affairs: Freiherr v. Cetto. As referendary, Herr Mohren.

For the Ministry of Finance: Ritter v. Rapp.

For the Ministry of Justice: Graf von und zu Starnberg.

For the Ministry of Religious Affairs: Herr v. Abel. As referendary, Edler v. Sommerberg.

For the Ministry of War: Freiherr v. Schack.

Where no replacement referendaries have been recommended, I leave the matter to the discretion of the ministers, who will assuredly suggest suitable candidates for the posts in question, and of course to the opinion of Your Majesty.

I remain Your humble servant,

Straubing-Bogen

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Left to right: Franz Ferdinand Ritter von Rapp (1801 - 1893); Constantin Eugen Adolphus, Graf von und zu Starnberg (1796 - 1869); Rudolf Justus Emmanuel Freiherr von Schack (1789 - 1848)

Alcibiades to Marius, February 21st 1836


Caro Frater,

Now that we have settled into our respective offices, I do believe it is time we put our shoulder to the plow, so to speak. Specifically, I feel the time is now opportune for a minor, but nonetheless relevant step – the ultimate resolution of the Salzburg matter to the satisfaction of both the Order and the Crown. The removal of that little anachronism will be quite the start to my tenure, and should serve as a pleasant bone for Lutzi to chew on. We may expect Abel and his Ultramontane mutts to bark a little in protest, but ultimately they'll have to chose between King and Pope – and even the most pious imbecile of that lot is surely not going to sacrifice his career over some Alpine village. I've received a message from the lodge there, which has fallen somewhat into disarray since the passing of Fra. Hipparchus, suggesting the new Prince-Bishop is a thorough reactionary who may well undo all their "good work" so far. As to the quality of that work, I shall not comment, but the fact remains the fellow should be promptly relieved of his secular duties and sent on his merry way.

The necessary preparatory operations have either been conducted or are being conducted as we speak. I have dispatched Herr Cetto and Fra. Sulla to Prague, in order to formalise a military alliance with the Bohemians and obtain the consent of the Court for our little expedition. We have been assured by the brethren in the Jan Hus Lodge that the Bohemians have no interest in the area, and are willing to let us have it. Of course, we can expect to cause some alarm among our neighbours, but nothing too serious.

It is a splendid opportunity to give Caracalla a taste of military glory, even if it is in such a paltry, comic-opera affair. The official declaration of war should come tomorrow, if Cetto and the rest return on schedule. I am satisfied that, as you've noted, the armed forces of the Kingdom are more than prepared to execute this operation within two or three months, at most. The sketch of ideas for military reform you've sent me is quite impressive, and certainly worthy of further development. Funds have been set aside for the proposed military academy already, and I suspect it will begin to show its fruits within the next few years. It will prove to be an important cog in the Order's machinery – the military lodges are in need of a thorough overhaul, in my opinion, and the Academy can serve as a central axis to organise and coordinate them, alongside the War Ministry, of course.

Glaucon has given his blessing, Cicero his mewling protest: it is sad, indeed, when a Brother puts his private jealousies above the work of the Order as a whole. No matter. If that tiresome babbler does not let up his campaign against me, I shall spring a little surprise on him and his coterie in the Reichsrat. I shall meet you at the Chancellery tomorrow, and then the details are in your hands.

Alcibiades VIII°

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Dispatch to the War Ministry from General Lorenz Stolzer, June 25th 1836

Fertig.

Stolzer

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Generalleutnant Lorenz Maria Stolzer (1785 - 1851)

Treaty of Berchtesgaden, signed June 26th 1836

The Kingdom of Bavaria and the Prince-Archbishopric of Salzburg, desiring to end the state of war currently existing between the two countries, have after discussion agreed to the following articles:

ARTICLE I.

The Prince-Archbishopric of Salzburg is hereby abolished as a sovereign and territorial entity, with the entirety of its territory to be annexed to the Kingdom of Bavaria. All institutions of government in the territory in question are disbanded, effective immediately.

ARTICLE II.

The territory formerly belonging to the Prince-Archbishopric is hereby added as an administrative subdivision of the Royal province of Tirol.

ARTICLE III.

The Prince-Archbishop consents to the removal of all temporal authority from the Archdiocese of Salzburg. He pledges to follow the guidelines set forth by the Ministry of Religious Affairs of the Kingdom of Bavaria in the course of exercising his ecclesiastical authority in the territory of Salzburg.

ARTICLE IV.

All land and other property currently in possession of the Prince-Archbishopric which is not utilised for the express purpose of religious services is hereby declared property of the Bavarian Crown.

In Berchtesgaden, on June 26th 1836.

For the Kingdom of Bavaria:

[Seal] Wilhelm Xavier Graf von Straubing-Bogen

[Seal] Anton Frhr. von Cetto

[Seal] Jnkr. Eduard Alexander Mohren

[Seal] General-Leutnant Lorenz Maria Stolzer

For the Prince-Archbishopric of Salzburg:

[Seal] H. E. Friedrich Johannes Jacob Celestin von Schwarzenberg, Prince-Archbishop of Salzburg

[Seal] Generaloberst Edmund von Grünne

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H. E. Friedrich Johannes Jacob Celestin von Schwarzenberg, the last of the Prince-Archbishops of Salzburg
 
When I looked at Franz Ferdinand Ritter von Rapp, the thought of him saying "Thug Life" immediately popped into my head. And I could not tell you why.


Also, getting the Swiss and Austrians out of Burgundy's and Bohemia's sphere, respectively, to form Lesser Germany is very tedious. So I wish you luck.
 
Xesan: Nope. :) Baden and Württemberg are separate entities in the Divergences mod, and are in the sphere of the Kingdom of Burgundy, which is big and nasty and very protective of its German clientele.

FireBlaze: :rofl::rofl::rofl: Well, of course. What do you think they named rap music after? It's all an Illuminati plot to brainwash youth into following their agenda. Also, they killed Tupac because he knew too much. Or at least that's what it says in this Jack Chick tract someone stuck onto my windshield. :D

Frankie boy is a thug, though. Behind the exterior of a boyish, dilligent career bureaucrat lies the cold, black heart of an inveterate schemer. You don't live to be 92 in that milieu without being a bit of an asshole. :D

***

To all: Anyways, I regret to inform you gentlemen that this AAR is being officially discontinued. I've come to the conclusion the style just isn't working. Best of luck to the other competitors. :)
 
Anyways, I regret to inform you gentlemen that this AAR is being officially discontinued. I've come to the conclusion the style just isn't working.

To bad. There are not many Germany Vicky AARs around besides the Prussian, Austrian and Unified Germany AARs. Not many play the minors or f.e. Bavaria.

Best of luck to the other competitors.

Thank you.